Change or Die

One of the best quotations I’ve ever heard. It applies to everything that I am. If the 22 year old me had a conversation with the 13 year old me, they probably won’t like each other. I would probably say, “was I THAT lame?” What more if I saw my 5 year old self? Super high waistline, tucked in shirt, socks with sandals. What were my parents thinking?!

I’ve done through a whole lot of changes in my life. With each mild change, I say goodbye to a part of me, safely tuck it away in the back of my mind and probably deny it ever happened in the future. We change to cope. We change to improve. We change to survive.

There is no present. The idea of a present time is a façade. As I type each letter, it becomes the past. There is no NOW. Because as you say, “this is now”, it is no longer. Change is inescapable. It is proof that we are living and we are moving forward.

And the same applies to my blog. We change, we move forward, to show the difference in ourselves, the difference in our surroundings. But despite these changes, a hint of the now hidden past is still evident. We learn from where we came, and acknowledge its influence in us, whether we like it or not.

So, like a business, in marketing, you can never be successful if you become accustomed to one formula. You take risks, you move, you improve…you change… If the outcome is not as favorable as you would like, you at the very least, learn from it. If is proves to be a worthy undertaking, you feel a great sense of accomplishment because everything worked out for the better. And eventually learn from it because like life, it is not permanent and you must once again change to survive.

"Willingness to change is a strength, even if it means plunging part of the company into total confusion for a while."
- Jack Welch

We change because we need to, we change because we have to, WE CHANGE, because if we don’t, we get left behind… You don’t need to venture into it alone, because there are those who understand and recognize what change is. They will help. Never be afraid to ask for help.

I change because I change. There’s no denying it, no avoiding it. Time guarantees it.

A Big Thank You to Juice, a blogger who recognizes change.

The Supposed Start Of Season 2

Something that FruityOaty said made me think, “My Blogiversary will be coming up, I hope I can continue after that…sustain my interest. Truthfully, it’s been on the wane for the long time now.” How long can we—or more specifically, I—really keep this going? The death of a blog is not a big deal, but it IS a part of ourselves we are willingly going to let go. I’ve been blogging for more than a year now and the thought HAS crossed my mind a few times. What does keep me blogging? Expression? Attention? Conformity? Boredom?


A strong longing for something. Everyone has at least one thing they’re really good at. This fuels their desire and they continually strive to be better at that one thing. Why don’t I have that fire? The passion in everyone to do one thing skillfully for the rest of their lives. Do I not have that desire? That overwhelming feeling to make more out of mine. Maybe my indecisiveness is a sign that my mind isn’t ready to take on the world. But with every vague step I make is a moment wasted satisfying that desire.

I question the desire in me. I never had a desire to do anything. Everything I do is technically for someone else. Does that mean I lack ambition? No, it’s not fatigue or apathy. I want that seize the day attitude! I have wanted a whole lot of things in my life, but never have I desired for something. Is there no motivation? Nothing that will enkindle the slumbering curiosity in my heart and mind? Where’s the motivation?

Where’s the motivation to blog? The desire to strike each key with a guided thought, intention and fervor. In all honesty, I sometimes wonder why I even bother. In the large amount of time I have spent in front of this screen, I never knew that blogging can be so demanding. I never knew this can drain me of things that I wish to write of or say for that matter. I don’t feel the need to narrate my life as it happens everyday. I am not a celebrity and my life is not at all eventful. I have simply ran out of things to blog. I've ran out of things that are to me "blog worthy".

“My readers are a big factor in me continuing... they encourage to keep going.”


I AM happy that there are those who appreciate what I dish out. The few rewards of blogging are obvious. And I am grateful for the acknowledgement of some of my peers. Especially those who seem to understand me, despite the fact we have never really met.

Haaaaay, another gloomy post! Well, that’s blog vomit for you. As consolation, I have some pictures for you guys. Some friends of mine came over last Saturday and I prepared dinner for them. I have three sets of friends (one from High School, one from College, and one from Manila). I wonder when I’ll get all of them together in one event?

Shrimp Fra Diavolo

Shrimp and squid in a really spicy tomato sauce. One of my favorite dishes. I love cooking as much as eating this italian fare. And based on the reaction I got, so did they. What's with the chopsticks?! I don't know. A friend who placed it there said it will make the photo prettier. I actually tried eating with the chopsticks, and it wasn't that bad! Plus, the photo does look prettier!

Churros con Chocolate

Dessert was Churros to be dipped in hot and extra gooey chocolate dip! Ever been to Dulcinea? Or maybe Cinnabon? Then you probably know what churros are! This crispy deep-fried dough accompanied by hot coffee was the perfect ender to an intimate dinner. Thank you guys (Melissa, Arriane, Marco, Khate and David) for coming last night, it has been a while since we last did this!

Earcandy for this week is D.A.N.C.E. by Justice. Oozing with coolness and disco.

Edi The Best Of...

Holy Smokes! Am I really that old that I can’t remember my own blog’s anniversary? Yes people, I forgot to celebrate my first year of blogging. When was it again? Oh yeah, May 9! Happy Blogiversary to my little baby, HPC! Even though I forgot the day, inside I knew a good looking back was in order. Last month, I read through most of my posts, and found some of them amateurish and lacking. I was purposely being hard on myself. But as I got into the reading mood, I enjoyed reading what I wrote. I was my own spectator, and I liked what that Jigs wrote. Memorable Litanies, Emotional Stanzas and Comedic Philosophies, here are some that stood out:

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER – Did you know that I am the best spontaneous party planner? This post is the perfect proof. I know you’re asking, “if it’s spontaneous, how can it be planned?!” That’s a very good question! "And if you're the best, why aren't you popular?" Another good question! Anyway, this post is also a semi-testimonial of the two longest friendships I’ve had in my life, and just how well we compliment each other.

“One good test of friendship is if the two of you can sit silently together and feel no awkwardness or boredom” -Jigs

UNINSPIRED – My first ever post! This post is pure, unadulterated Jigs. I think that first post was the perfect start for my blog. I mean, even if I actually had a different topic in mind, I’d still go with this. It’s light but makes sense.

BLOG BLAST! – The first ever edition of this short lived segment I tried to do a few months ago. This first one is the best edition I think. It is about my long and painful adventure during my enrolment a year ago. It was also my first attempt to write in TAGALOG! Add to that my sarcasm and an excruciating attempt to be funny; you have the makings of something you that can barely pass as a blog post!

FALLEN – A very personal and emotional post. This is definitely one of my favorites. I think I was blogging as Gino here (Not Jigs. Yes, there is a difference). There are slight changes when I write as me, and when I write as Me. I think my friends would understand it better. I’ve never been more vulnerable.

NOBODY KNOWS – Did you get my description about the Fallen post? If not, this will explain why. Another one of those serious post where I try to tap into the deeper consciousness of my readers. I just think it says a lot about us bloggers in general. How much of "US" are we really willing to reveal?

LIKE A SCENE IN A HORROR MOVIE – A post of frightening proportions. Haha! Not really, but it might as well be, "a scene in a horror movie". Never blog in the dark, you’ll never know who’s behind you reading what you’re typing…….

LIKE MY MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES – This is randomization stitched together! I really had fun composing this one. It was just fun! Nothing serious or important. I’ll try to do more posts like this.

I also have several posts which require special mention. ROCK ON! garnered the most number of comments I’ve ever had! Would you believe my posts could at one time receive 53 comments from different people! I was even referred to as a Bloggigolo! I know, I can’t believe it either! What the heck was I thinking when I went into a hiatus?! Nowadays, I’d be lucky if I get 5! Haaay, I miss being famous… Hahaha! Anyway, 21 TIMES is another post which received record breaking comments and tackled a social issue which was affecting a lot of people, including me. MUSIKA V:SUPERNOVA receives special mention because a few months during my one year of blogging, I was a big fan of the show Rockstar: Supernova and some of my other unrelated posts contained updates of what’s happening in the show (Musika is another segment in my blog). ANG SAYA NAMAN! is what you would call the perfect day blog post, but I didn’t like it that much because it was more, a narration of what happened to me during that day (a diary narrative, I hate posts like that).

Those were just a few of the posts that I think deserve a second look (maybe one or two more comments, hahaha!). But, we’re not done yet. I asked three people who knew me ever since I started blogging. I am also a big fan of their blogs and visit as often as I can. Jhed was supposed to be part of this (as the fourth) but I didn’t get his list of 5 in time. I’m still a fan of his blog though! Hehe! Let’s see what posts they liked most:


FALLEN – Rex tells me he can relate to this post. He knows what I’ve been through, and vice versa. This is one good reason why I like blogging and why I want my friends to read my posts. I get to tell them those oh so mushy moments, without the sappy hugging and crying.

BLOG BLAST! 2nd Edition – A light post about a first day experience, that’s bordering on a diary narrative, but manages to swing it by adding a cool commentary. Hahaha! He chose this because it was a fun real life update.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER – Just because he was included in the post. How self centered! Well, he also said that it depicted our friendship really well. (I still think he chose it because he was in it)

21 TIMES – A serious post, with serious statements but twisted to make it a lighter read.

SEPTEMBER 8 – Because we love dramatic tributes. Just goes to show, articulate people (like myself, *wink* *wink*) shouldn’t be so melodramatic because their posts can make your heart bleed.


GRATUITOUS IDIOCY – Another short lived segment in my blog. A silly post of what Google thinks of blogging. Actually don’t know why Juice likes it, she has no comment on this post so I have no idea why she liked it.

QUARTER LIFE CRISIS – midlife crisis for twenty-something adults (duh!). Juice relates very well to this post despite the fact that she hasn’t even reached 20 yet. I really enjoyed her comment by the way.

BLOG JARGON 101 – Are you guilty of HITNOSIS? Ever experienced BLOGSTIPATION? What is a BLOGGIGOLO? Get your answers here and all the vocabulary you’ll ever need in the BLOGOSPHERE complied in one easy post!

BLOG BLAST! 3rd EDITION – One of the best tags I’ve done so far. It’s just a simple, but nevertheless entertaining tag. Of course, thanks to Juice for passing on this tag to me. My Juiceee senses were tingling!

TAG, I’M IT? – another tag courtesy of the lovely Juice. Interview type tag; I even said a few nice words to several bloggers like Heneroso, Ghee, Kevin, and Rowjie.


BLOGBLAST! – Kevin found this post funny. That’s about it. He found my suffering Hilarious! I promise you’ll feel the same torture I felt now that you’re in college! Mwahahahaha!

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER – Just because he misses his sister’s carbonara. Hey, don’t project your hunger onto my post! Call your sister, I’ll put her to shame in a cooking showdown! Haha!

FLABBERGASTED, HUMILIATED AND THANKFUL – This is how I take criticisms. Some should be taken in stride, while some should be answered head on. In the end, you just have to do what makes you happy. He liked this post because of my “honesty” daw. At least it’s a complement! I'll take it!

UTAKGAGO’s WORST NIGHTMARE – What terrifies the brave and manly Utakgago? Find out here. I hope this post still makes you shudder in fear Kevin!

NASAAN KA NA? – a story continuation tag, passed on to me by Utakgago. See what happens when an emo kid forwards his story on to the hands of a horror obsessed blogger who can barely write in Tagalog! It was a blast writing the post, and when I read it, I can’t believe the tagalong words I used! Hahahaha!

Obviously, they have different tastes, which is good. At least I know my posts aren’t intended for just a specific type of individual. Now you, what post did you like most and why?

As of now, there’s no reason I know of that can stop me from blogging. It’s only forward from here on out. I’m bowled over, but surprisingly pleased with how things are going for me. There’s an unexpected optimism that my whole life would change in the coming months... I hope you join me or continue with me in this journey. Let’s see which way I go.

"My life is where I like it right now. It’s what I would call, Chaotic. Good enough to keep me content and happy, but screwed up enough to keep me grounded and busy." - Jigs in HPC UPDATE

To end this long, link infested post, I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I had fun writing them. I've never been a part of something so big in my life. It has been a great and "enlightening" experience which I hope never gets old. I also wish, even in a small way, you found a gem of knowledge among all of these… Harsh Poetic Chaos

Till the next Blogiversary!

Happiest Happy Meal

Last Saturday was so much fun! Met up with a few friends, ate good food and had a great time!

Anyway, that's enough of that, back to my dark emo ways. I feel alone, depressed and confused. I lie awake at night thinking my life has no purpose. Nobody understands me and I never get to do what I want to do! Uuuuuy… Got you going there didn’t I? Hahahahaha! I’m such a crazy weirdo.

Haaay, now that I got that out of my system, I’m sure you’d prefer to hear something else. Like maybe what happened last Saturday. Oh nothing much really…We just had one kick-ass burger party! Yeah! *ahem* Let’s pretend that I didn’t just say that last line and I still look cool to you. Okay? Good.

Last Saturday, I invited a couple of friends and cooked for them this burger themed party. So they got to make their own burger and anything they wanted to go with it. I had several ingredients: lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, bacon, mushroom and pickles. I also had my own “not-so-secret sauces”: garlic mayo and barbeque sauce. Condiments: Ketchup, Mayo, Mustard, Hot Sauce and Worcestershire Sauce. Of course we don’t want the burger to get lonely, so we have a variety of side dishes, namely: French Fries, Onion Rings, Mozzarella Sticks with Marinara Sauce, and some chips with dip. Has your heart stopped yet? Well, for drinks we had some sparkling wine and bottles of Vodka Ice to push it all down. But wait, there’s more! To top everything off, for dessert, the king of experimentation and chocolates, prepared for us his very own version of that yummy cereal treat!

I know my picture collage isn’t the best, I don’t know how to do one as creatively as Kevin does. Also, out of respect for the privacy of my friends, I didn’t put their pictures here. You should have seen them struggling to take a bite out of the burger they made! The patties were almost two inches thick! The Big Mac could learn a thing or two from the size these babies! Haha! Everyone had their own strategy in eating. I squished mine to make it smaller, while another sliced it up. The rest just opened their mouth as wide as they can and took a huge chunk out of their burgers. I swear I could see their beating hearts in that gaping abyss they call a mouth! Haha!

After that feast, we talked, chatted and conversed about important things in life like politics, personal lives and how funny our names sound. It was so much fun, it was simple and intimate, and I can't think of a better way to spend my day (if we played a kewl board game it would have been AWESOME!!! Wait, lame, forget I said that). We spent the remainder of the night talking some more, drinking vodka ice, watching a movie and some of us (not me) even browsed the net for some “Prawn”.

The day was tiring (since I basically prepared almost all the food myself) but it was well worth the sweat I put in to it (no, not INTO the food literally). I slept a good ten hours after the party, it…was..awesome… Hahahaha! I wonder what will be the theme next time.

Under my Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh. Damn it! That song’s been stuck in my head for a week now! By the way I saw this video of The Scissor Sisters on MTV and it's hilarious!

Nobody Knows

You only know what I want you to know. As far as you know, you really know nothing about me. As far as you know, I’m a completely different person. Even if you are my friend, my relative, or even if you’re my parents, you only know as far as what I want you to know. That’s the problem, we’re never completely sure about a person, no matter how close we feel to them.

A girl with long blonde hair, young and beautiful, a junior in high school, a cheer leader, a straight “A” student. She has all the friends she could ask for, even a handful of best friends. Her parents are nurturing, understanding and productive. She told them all her problems, her secret crushes, even her life questions. She had a comfortable life. They weren’t rich but could afford their simple wants and be satisfied. She plays the guitar and tries to compose songs. This recharged her soul and nurtured her creativity. She has her fair share of problems, but nothing she couldn’t handle thanks to her friends and family. She is in love, a senior, he asked her if she would like to go the prom with him…She said yes…

She died…She killed herself…Just a few days after her 16th birthday, a few weeks before prom…Overdose, reports say…Nothing could have warned anybody of her suicidal tendencies. Later, they found out, she was visiting a website which taught her how to commit suicide. This website told her that this life was a prison, an option, and dying would free her of these “earthly bonds”. It even taught her how to write a suicide note. But what’s more disturbing is the fact that people were supporting her decision to commit suicide, teaching her what to do and saying that they’ll do it too. On her suicide note, she blamed no one, she said she wanted to be free…

You’ll never really get to know a person. You’ll only know what that person wants you to know. We all blog and talk about what’s happening in our lives. We write about our thoughts, ideas and experiences. Our readers and even ourselves feel like on a blog, you can open up and “Be Yourself”. Yes, a lot of us are truthful and reveal every detail of our being, to be scrutinized or enjoyed by the whole world. This is a way of expressing ourselves, but can this be a way of reaching out to others? Hoping they’ll read intently, take us seriously for once and understand the emotions we embed in our posts.

Most of us, read a post, give our take on it and move on to the next blog. Sometimes, that’s enough. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying what a blogger wrote and moving on to the next story. But what if a blogger really needed someone’s help? It doesn’t have to be a physical thing. Words that sustain one’s mental composure could mean the world to another. Do you give out the common, “Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay. Just hang in there and everything will turn out for the better” as a comment, or simply move on to the next blog? Maybe you try to relate your experiences to what they’re experiencing. Maybe you even go as far as emailing them and ask them how they’re doing via IM. Whatever you do, you never really know how the blogger really felt about what you said. They may also give out the common response, “thank you for your support”. In the end, they’re still the only one facing the next move…

You only know what I want you to know…

What do you really know about me?