Here comes Santa! On a Sleigh? I doubt it...

Boy, do I it fit the profile or not? Gives gifts, wears red, fat and jolly (well, maybe not the last one.). I love giving gifts, actually, I’m a bit known for giving away stuff (I’m THAT generous-friend-which-rarely-asks-for-anything-in-return type), that’s kinda my thing. Seeing people happy makes me happy, and I have no problem if it is reciprocated or not. This year, I gave out at least 10 gifts to my closest friends. In addition to that, I have two “inaanaks” (godchildren), which means, under the fine print of the unwritten contract I involved myself about a year ago, I am required to give them some form of “aguinaldo”. LOL! Kidding, seriously, the two of them are so cute that I can’t help myself but give them free stuff!

I also usually wrap my own gifts to perfection (part of being my semi-OC-ness). I make sure the wrapped is straight and is taped properly. TO let you know how weird I am, it took me at least 3 hours wrapping the 12 gifts I mentioned. I tape up the gifts so much that opening them can truly be a challenge. I hate people who actually take extraordinary care in unwrapping their presents. They neatly peel off the tape, making sure the wrapper doesn’t get torn, then fold them neatly beside them. After that process is the only time when they finally appreciate the gift they got! Come on! Tearing up the wrapper is part of the fun; you get to be a kid again! It’s as if you’re seriously thinking of reusing the wrapper you got! FYI, that’s not really part of the gift. LOL! Its one thing to be neat, thinking of how you will properly remove the wrapper of a gift you got is another.

Anyway, I expect this Christmas to be “fairly fun”. It won’t be bad but, it won’t be the best either. The best was 1994 I think. A wonderful veritable family reunion (which we rarely have). Where the love is real and the gifts are an extra bonus. It’s those times which are truly etched in my mind and in my heart.

I don’t like being politically correct, especially when it comes to Christmas. I don’t like saying Happy Holidays. So let me greet you a Merry Christmas…
Whether you celebrate it or not…

Freaky Prof!

So I already told you about one of my teachers, right? Then let me introduce you the rest of the gang! LOL!

The next one is a lady who teaches Business Communication. She is fluent in English but despises the country that speaks it. She would go on and on about how the Americans are screwing over third world countries like ours. She compares the Americans to the British people and how much better British people are. She said British people are not racist (unlike Americans). Indians are actually doing really well there. She once said UK was the better colonizer. When they left Hong Kong, they left it fully developed with a thriving economy. As for the Americans, when they left the Philippines they left us with nothing but deserted bases and a chaotic government. She said Americans think they are so superior that they treat all of their colonies like slaves, and not as equals. She said, Americans will never change, they have such an extensive history of treating others like slaves, one day America will lose their power and no one will feel sorry for them. (The statements/opinions above are not my own.)

My next professor is the scariest most disturbing looking woman I’ve ever seen! LOL! Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but my classmates would no doubt agree. She teaches Human Resources Management, poorly I might add. All I can do to stay awake from her subject is play SuDoku on my phone. She teaches the lesson really really slowly. She reads from the book and tries to explain in excruciating detail each topic per chapter. She loves wearing sleeveless blouses and skirts (no stockings. Ugh, just telling it to you sends shivers up and down my spine). When she writes on the board; the flab on her arms wiggles. Her face is sunken and lifeless and she makes it worse by wearing heavy amounts of cosmetic products. Her skin is like a road map and usually wears her hair in an unkempt bun. She always looks bedraggled and honestly (without any form of embellishment) smells like long forgotten make up and potpourri (you know that bundle of old smelling fragrant flowers that are dried?). I AM NOT KIDDING! This is the best description I could ever think of, and I was being kind. I once over heard a conversation my classmates were having. They were talking about our teacher’s age (Uh-oh, a dangerous topic. LOL!). One said 75, the other 88…

I would have guessed 105! LOL!

to be continued…

Utakgago's Worst Nightmare

A few nights ago, I had an unusual dream. I remember it vividly for I have never had such a reverie. I dreamt I was in a room, with a rusty steel door. It was dark, damp and decrepit. It had no window, only a small opening with bars on the door and the light from outside shown through. There was a drain in the middle of the room, and on the ceiling was a bulb that could barely show its brilliance. Liquid started oozing underneath the door. The door would not open and the liquid headed down the drain. I went back to look at the drain and then hundreds of cockroaches started to emerge. From every crack, every hole, every wall, cockroaches started to spill out like the fluid from before. They were all over my shoes, my pants, my shirt. I try to brush them off me, but to no avail. I was being covered with cockroaches. I could feel their feelers and spiny legs on my bare skin. They kept crawling up my body, to my neck and my face. I could feel them trying to enter my mouth, my eyes and ears. And then…I woke up…

This is the weirdest dream I have ever had in my entire life. It totally didn’t make sense (usually, I understand my dreams). Maybe it’s because last week, my life was covered with roaches (well, not literally). I probably killed more than ten cockroaches. For me, that is uncommon. Our house doesn’t have any roach infestation. I’ll be lucky to see one in a month. Last week was different. While I was cleaning up the kitchen, I saw one crawling near our stove and another one under the sink. Well, this was a challenge. I didn’t have any bug spray and they kept going into the nooks between the appliances. The next day, I found another in our dinning room. We had a big mirror there, and right in the middle of it was this big cockroach. I grabbed our broom and tried to smack it, but can you believe my luck, it was the flying kind! Damn! I had to be careful because I didn't want it landing on me or anything. LOL! Another time, I was in the middle of taking a shower when I saw a cockroach near the ceiling. It completely startled me. I had to stop and kill it first before finishing my shower! How comfortable was that?!

I also encountered one when I was going home one night. I was waiting for my ride when I felt something crawling up my arm! I knew it was a cockroach and shook it off. I squished it and his friend crawling near me. It totally gave me goose bumps! LOL! Last Thursday, me and a few classmates ate at Chowking. I had the beef mami or something. As I was halfway through my meal, I noticed a UFO in my soup (Unidentified Floating Object). I’m sure you’ve guessed what it was. Yep, there was this small cockroach in my soup. Even though the manager apologized and offered to get me a new meal, I lost my appetite and refused.

I am not really scared of roaches. In fact, I’m the designated killer of cockroaches in our home because my siblings are pansies! LOL! They’re just really disgusting, especially after you’ve squished them. They also have this distinct odor that is kinda nauseating. I also saw that show on of Jessica Soho about the cockroach-infested village. It made me shiver! A housewife removed a poster on one of their walls and you wouldn’t believe the number of cockroaches that darted everywhere! They even eat food that has already crawled upon by those bugs. It’s really disturbing.

I also saw a movie last week on a cable channel, titled Joe’s Apartment. I bet you’ve seen it. I wonder how the movie would have gone it was entitled Kevin’s Apartment?

Wahahaha!