This is what stress can do

I’m dead! I can’t believe how busy I am! Dammit! Where’s my support system?! I think they’re busy too. I’m wasting away mentally. This is crazy. My face looks terrible. The eye-bags, the outbreaks, the pasty complexion, there’s no mistaking it! I’m stressed and on my way to a breakdown…

Aaaanyway, how are you guys? Doing well I hope! That’s good. Take care of yourself ok? You might catch a cold. Don’t forget to text me if you need anything.

Stress is making me do things I wouldn’t normally do. Right now, I can’t watch anything unless it’s a cartoon show. I personally prefer anime lately. I’ve been downloading Japanese cartoons non-stop! And no, it’s not the hentai kind! Weirdo.

Speaking of cartoons, anybody here a fan of the cartoon in Nickelodeon toon called “As Told By Ginger”? I saw this one episode where Ginger composed a poem which got her noticed. The poem is good, I really want to know it.

I’m also experiencing some mild bipolar disorder. Mood swings left and right, depressed and I don’t finish some things I started. I start reading a book and half way through it, I just set it down and no longer plan to finish it. One time, I started cooking some pasta but as I was waiting for the noodles to finish cooking, I completely spaced out and just walked out of the kitchen without finishing the meal I was making. It was a good thing it was just spaghetti, our maid took over the cooking.

I’ve also been dying to write a few reviews for a couple of new movies I’ve seen like I AM LEGEND, LARS AND THE REAL GIRL, BEOWULF, ENCHANTED, JUNO and ACROSS THE UNIVERSE. But I also don’t want to force myself to write a review and end up with something crappy and terrible. I promise to write a bunch of reviews soon. By the way, if you have any movies you want to be reviewed, just tell me and I’ll tell you what I think about the movie.

This is it for now. You know as I reread this post, I come off somewhat dumb! Haha! That’s ok, got no brain cells to spare right now. Hehe! Till the next time!

It's In The Blood

I’m Filipino. And like most Filipinos, I’m 25% or 50% (I’m not really sure, I have to ask my lola again) of foreign blood. Meaning, somewhere in my family tree, one of my great lolos or lolas was a foreigner. And again, just like some Filipinos, I’m not really sure which. I think it’s either Chinese or Spanish. Most likely it’s Spanish due to my last name but, the maiden name of my lola (the one I told you earlier about, remember? LOL!) is Chinese, so like I said, I’m not really sure.

Why am I telling you this? No special reason really. Lately, my mind has been filled with thoughts of whether or not my blood heritage has anything to do with my personally. I’ve heard countless generalizations about cultures and ethnic groups, both negative and positive. I realized, looking at myself and my life, I’m nothing like the Chinese, nor am I more of a Spanish due to my family name. But I do believe I am greatly influenced by a more specific and unexpected group that I belong to. I can’t believe I am more of a KAMPANGAN than I ever thought I could be.

I am not really your average Kapampangan. My knowledge of our culture is trivial and I barely speak our dialect. My residence is in Pampanga, but I virtually grew up in Manila. I am not at all that close to my Kapampangan relatives and as much as I try too fit in; it seems I am uncomfortably placed among them. Nevertheless, I try, and they welcome me as part of the family as they always do. It just seems that I am more of a regular Filipino than a Kapampangan. But one person helped me change that perception.

A teacher. Not really a Kapampangan teacher, but a person who was a proud Kapampangan. He is actually an accounting professor, and he spoke not a word of Kapampangan. He grew up at Manila and decided to stay in Pampanga with some other relatives. He is what I would call unconventionally proud of his being Kapampangan. He, like me knows nothing of Kapampangan culture nor can he properly speak the dialect, but he feels he inherited more from Kapampangans than any realized. He made me realize a more positive perspective regarding the matter.

Wow. This is a booooring post isn’t it? Then let me just summarize…

Kapampangans love to cook and eat, loud talkers (especially in groups), very hospitable, loves to party, lives a good lifestyle, lives beyond their means, family-oriented, emotional, head strong, straight forward, passionate, and of course good-looking. As general and maybe similar some of these maybe to others, they definitely stand out in Kapampangans, which I am proud to say I possess. I may not be culturally adept in some areas of Kapampangan cultures, but I AM unconventionally proud to be a Kapampangan.

Note: As I begun to write this post I was truly enthusiastic, but then, the power went out and so did my inspiration. When the electricity came back, I recovered my file but can no longer continue my train of thought. Everything that came out my mind was poop. So this post is completely ruined! Ugh! Nakakainis Talaga!!