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My Brain is Scattered Everywhere!

Some people can be so demanding! I told you guys I’ll blog once a week! Also, how many times do I have to tell you people, NO, absolutely NO flash photography, autographs and video requests of me singing Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake!

I like shows that try to produce good talent, then after, most of the winners end up either lacking the x-factor or undistinguished! Speaking of American Idol, why is it that some good shows who win awards do not get big ratings? What is it that they lack? Certainly not good actors nor a witty script; this is what actually got them their nods and awards. I am now watching (yup, while I'm typing, I'm watching it, I'm Mr. Multitask!) a new sitcom which is very entertaining but I fear won’t obtain longevity due to its unsatisfying ratings. Why must it always be about ratings? Many a great series has succumbed due to their poor audience share. I would hate to think that people would much rather watch pointless drivel than a mentally stimulating series, even if it is a sitcom.

Michael Bluth: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille Bluth: It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

(Arrested Development)

I enjoy the occasional reality show, a task or challenge here, an elimination there; but I don’t saturate my television time by memorizing the names of all the reality show stars. Specially nowadays, I’ve been ultra picky with what I watch due to some, *ahem* TV problems I have been having. As of May 21, the only show I have been following (recently) just ended their first season. It was a good series, with interesting plots, well written lines and competent actors. Unfortunately, as the show went on, it slowly degraded. It left quite a few unanswered questions and confusing scenes which indicated a lack of common sense (I thought that trait only belonged to cartoons and horror flicks!). Plus, the season finale episode was really disappointing; I would have liked a bit more closure and a few more answers (a little logic wouldn't hurt either). I guess it was the network’s way of making sure their audience continues to watch the next season. If you know what I’m talking about you might disagree with me on the things I’ve said but, that’s just how it felt to me.

Jack: I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No… So why are you dressed like we do?

(30 Rock)

We all watch television for different reasons; for education, information and of course, entertainment. Most of us would pick the picture box over that black and white paper any day. But I just found out that there is such a thing as television fatigue. It’s that time when you would rather pick up a good book, sip coffee and listen to your neighbor gossip about you. I savor those brief intervals of calmness; those few minutes that feel like the world is perfect. Here I go again, preaching. I just like reminiscing because A) it's all I have, and 2nd, I really have a short attention span. Just to let you know, I didn’t finish this in one sitting. Yup, I got bored right in the middle of writing it and just had to do something else (I played solitaire then, after 2 minutes, I counted how many dvds I had) because I was starting to get sleepy. I then started going on-line searching for the new politicians who would have power over our gullible city. I didn’t vote by the way. I know, I know, shame on me. It’s not that I didn’t want to, just didn’t have the time to get registered. A friend did lecture me once that the reason we have corrupt officials is because people who know better do not vote. So, I am left with my shame, until I can vindicate myself by voting in the next election! At least this year, someone who might actually do some good, a beacon of hope was elected and is now officially a governor.

Because of this, my head has been filled with questions…If I had been a bit more optimistic, productive and outspoken, could I have accomplished a whole lot more? If I did that, would my life finally change for the better? Maybe I could even serve as an example for others, a beacon of hope if you will *winks*? If I strive to learn more, be a bit more inquisitive, will I become a better person? The kind of person I’ve always wanted to be? Maybe, just, maybe, with the help of my family, my friends and even you, yes you, I could change things? Is that possible? Is that doable, with all that has been said, written and done, can I still change things? Yes, all of these queries bothered me. But the real question is…
Should I change the name of my blog?

I have been battling with this quandary for quite sometime now, and found no relief. No where near it. That is why I leave that question to you. Should I? Should I not? Why? Why not? Are you sure? Can you support your answer with a one page essay? Should I be taken seriously with everything I said? If not, why?

Ahhh… Thanks for taking over for me…My brain feels a tad bit in uncluttered…

Hope to hear from you soon!

Flabbergasted, Humiliated and Thankful

"I'm not trying to be mean or rude. I'm just saying. I'm guessing it would be nice for you to actually get a comment, an objective and critical one, instead of the soft pablum most of those who comment in your blog offer. (a comment on my post, Just Another Battle)"

This…This is how you render someone speechless.

I never thought ONE criticism could affect me so significantly. I never thought ONE criticism could make me think so much. I never thought ONE criticism could make me blog again.

I really wasn’t sure about this post. Well, first and foremost, everything that was said is unbelievably detrimental to my wonderful and illustrious reputation! Wait…I don’t have a reputation… Any way, the second reason, the comment was the person’s opinion, and who am I to tell them they’re wrong?

But in the end, I went with what I felt was right. I had to give my side, my explanation to what was written. And the comment was so well composed, so eloquently said, that it couldn’t possibly have come from an uneducated individual. For someone to analyze me and my blog so comprehensively, deserves my attention and response because I respect great minds.

"But everything about you is a tired cliche: The picture, with your hair covering your face, is a classic, to prove to the world just how "troubled" you are. The forced insertion of square words into round holes, just to heighten the whole dark mood you try to set. The lazy, commonplace statements you use, such as "glorious sadness" or "a disease consuming (me)" or (best example) "harsh poetic chaos," are empty vessels long emptied of their contents."

Yes, I did seem like a tired cliché, let me say why I did it…I changed my picture not because I wanted everyone to see and feel as I did, I do not need anybody’s sympathy. The picture was to show the people visiting my blog that I will be on a break and won’t be writing for a while as evidenced by the long gaps between my recent posts. The square words into round holes, you were right, it heightened the emotion I wanted to express and it served their purpose. As for my lazy overused and worn-out statements, I honestly did not know they were THAT used up and no longer mean what they meant. I mean, my statements may be unoriginal and stale, but when I wrote it, I found they perfectly spelled out how I felt. It was my sentiments, I didn’t need to complicate what I wanted to say by thinking up some new radical way of letting others feel what I feel. And since my statements are so common, then everybody knows how I feel, and that’s more important to me.

"You have no unique ideas, there was not one sentence where I felt like "how come I haven't realized this before?" Everything was the same old trite observations made from a skewed, "angsty" perspective. Heard it all before, and in better writing, too. Your command of English is wobbly, almost factory-like in its churning out of stock phrases; it's as if you just grab ready-made phrases clear off the sky."

Well, I don’t know about the sky but maybe from the books that I’ve read. That’s where basically almost anybody learn the things they know. I’ve only gained knowledge form my life experiences (which isn’t alot) and what I’ve been taught. And I think no true original realization can be ascertained from them. As, they say, “True Originality is dead, there is only revisions of what has been.” Also, It wasn’t my intention for anybody to realize anything by reading my blog. I just wanted to convey my thoughts, that’s it. As for my English, I must say among all that was said, this hit me the hardest. Although English is a second language to me and do not use alot of big words, I take pride in how well I can handle myself in an English conversation. Apparently, I was overreaching and still need a few more lessons.

"Ramblings," "unstable mind," "poetic chaos," and other such terms. Lovely, yes. But hackneyed. Can be found in every other blog some kid clad in black writes. Angst-filled, supposedly. I guess you feel so unique, so different, so f*cked up, compared to everyone else."

Now this part, I totally agree with. I even chuckled a bit when I read it. A little trivia; when I was brainstorming for the title of this blog, I was so uninspired. It was like every word coming out of my head was crap! So I just decided on something simple, but contradictory in a way. Simple words with complex meanings. And the words I chose are normal choices for someone who wants to be striking and witty. I have seen variations (from other blogs) which closely resemble my blog title, but so far none similar to it. I didn’t (nor want to) feel so unique or so different to everyone else.

To conclude this long post, I just hope that the person who commented on my blog didn’t just read the previous two posts (Just Another Battle and Recession, In Terms). I hope the commenter doesn’t think that I write that way all the time. I am not some…what’s the word? “angsty” person with an “angsty” perspective. Please don’t get me wrong, I am in no way infuriated with your comment. It was well said, direct to the point and intense. I respect your opinion and appreciate it. As a matter of fact, I welcome it as a challenge to improve myself.

I may not be the best writer, but I do write about what I know and feel. I may not be eloquent, but I do my best with what I have learned. I may not be original, but at least I try and emulate those who are rare and acknowledge their greatness.

You say I am common, worn-out, uninspired, incoherent and unoriginal…

I say. . . Welcome to my Life. . .