"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

As a kid, and even when I was in High School, I didn’t know what I want to do, or BE when I grow up. During the preparatory years and early elementary, the most cliché question you could ask a child would be, “What do you want to BE when you grow up?” The youngster would always have an answer. It is always the profession of the person they look up to. The top three answers would be teacher, doctor and architect. My brother wanted to be a doctor. My sister wanted to be a teacher. I, however, didn’t have an answer to that question at that time. I don’t think I can concretely answer that question even now. I am envious of those who had that passion so early in the game.

My siblings and I weren’t trained to pursue one thing and be good at it. We were brought up to take on whatever lay ahead of us. “You can be whatever you want to be! The world is yours for the taking!” – that was my Mom’s battle cry. And I love her for being like that, giving us the freedom to do what we want when we grow up. She is living proof of her own slogan. She has been successful and excelled in everything she does. My father is another prodigy. He has got to be the most hardworking man I know. He thrives on the idea, “If you work hard, it will come back to you tenfold.” They are best mentors I have ever had in my life. No professor can properly teach me half of what my parents know. I’ve always had a fear of losing them. Not really knowing how I’d move forward without their guidance. I’ve never disclosed this to any one because it seems pathetic in a way. Digression aside, amidst all the support, freedom and knowledge imparted by my parents, I just wish they directed all our drive to just a few things rather than to everything. For example, my father loves music. He has an awesome CD collection and he listens to them every time (when he is here in the Philippines). I inherited this passion but, for me, it is half-baked. I wish they got me music lessons or teach me to play an instrument. It is a passion which I nourish incompletely.

“Jack of All Trades, Master of None.” I honestly do not like that line. Unfortunately, it kinda applies to me (and maybe to some of you too). I can do a little bit of everything, but do not excel at one thing. I AM MEDIOCRE. It sounds so negative, but most of us are mediocre. Not everyone can be extraordinary or else, no one is. Some one has to play the role of the average guy and I think I currently fit into that category. Why do I say this? Why am I being such a downer? Maybe because of all the realizations I had these past few days. I used to think I knew a lot about music, movies, technology, literature, public speaking, gastronomy, etc. And then, at some point you will encounter someone better than you. Far better. And you realize, what you know is so miniscule, all that I-AM-SPECIAL feeling just disappears and is replaced by mediocrity.

Please don’t try to cheer me up. I don’t need it. Everything changes…

Part Two...Soon...