A Diamond In The Rough

I found myself completely out of my element this month. Honestly, I have been delving into uncharted waters that have proven to be uncomfortable, challenging and at times unsettling. What I’m trying to say is, we all handle things differently. Our experiences and acquired knowledge gently shove us into these “comfort zones.” Humans, being a creature of habit cling to these situations because we find safety and competence in them. We avoid, fear even, those unfamiliar territories because we are stripped down to our barest. All our knowledge, all our experience count for so little that it scares us. It scares us to discover how ignorant or inept we are in the grander scheme of things.

I have been involving myself in activities I never imagined I would ever participate in. These activities may seem so provincial to you, but oh so foreign to me. I felt so deficient, so to speak. I was somehow barricaded to the world I chose to enclose myself in, and now, breaking out is unnerving. I sometimes get so paranoid that I think people think of me as weak or slow on the uptake. Maybe I feel this way because I can see that what comes natural to them is conversely as difficult for me. It gets to the point that you feel your introverted self creep in and think this would be much easier if I was left to my own devices, that I do not need anybody’s help. When in fact you do…

It can be disheartening, forcing yourself into a world which seems to reject the “staple-you.” But, I found out, there are those special few that know and see who you are, acknowledge that what you’re doing won’t be easy, and still stand by your side. Thankfully, I found those few who can get me through it all.

For the Diamonds in my life…I hope to become one…

7 comments:

Talamasca said...

Deep stuff, man. Deep stuff. O_O

Cliche of the day: Do something every day that scares you.

paolo said...

those who are not of the crowd - those are the ones who live remarkable lives.

nice layout too...

Poli said...

Maybe I should try something new as well. I've been self-indulgent for too long.

I also love your new layout!

jaiskizzy said...

this reminds me of a "singles seminar" my friend wanted me to join in. of course, being me, i'd do it for the chicks. but it turns out it's a religious gathering. singing, praying, confessing, the shit. no way. i aint pretending to have a relation with go just to get in a girl's pants. well, maybe a little at least not in front of others.

kingofchocolates said...

(Bakit nawala yung haloscan?)

So you wrote this before Saturday. Hmmm, hehehe!

Me, too, I never imagined myself doing the same thing. In fact, just after the first actual session, I never seemed to have run out of rants about 'things'! Haha! It's so revolting! But last Saturday night, as I laid down to sleep, I realized, "Wushu, andami ko nasasabi, pero deep inside, nag-enjoy ako."

I am gonna make this 'thing' a personal one. It's just going to be about me and want I want to achieve. Kebs kung may nakakairita sa tabi-tabi, hehe!

Jigs said...

@Talamasca: Loves to death your cliches of the day.

@Paolo: I agree. It's all about reinventing ourselves and overcoming endeavors.

@Poli: trying something new can be a completely liberating experience. And, thanks for the complement!

@Jaiskizzy: Hahah! I get what you mean!

@Rex: Sabi ko na mabubuking ako eh! Hahahah! It's good na I'm not doing this alone, or else... hahah! Alam mo, like you, after last saturday night, I realized na I actually enjoyed the whole gathering. Can you believe it?! Hahahah!

ozy said...

Sometimes it helps to step out. I guess it's a part of living. When you know when you are in control and how you can maintain yourself as you go off exploring what you can do. Who knows maybe your experimentations will be part of the staple you too!

The best part is that those diamonds will be there to support you either way.