Drinking and Driving

This is so far the best and most unique excuse I have ever made up to get out of a ticket.

However, I wasn't the one driving.

My cousins (4 of them) and I were out for a night of drinking and partying. We decided to head home at around 3 AM because one of my cousins was already spewing his guts out in the bathroom.

Of course most of us were beyond tipsy but the designated driver was sober, enough (we permitted him to have a few drinks because he wouldn’t shut up about not wanting to be the designated driver), to drive and be alert. However, I was wrong. The next thing we knew, we were being pulled over by a traffic enforcer/policeman (I can't believe he was vigilant enough to enforce traffic rules during 3 AM!).

We were all freaking out. One of us was semi-passed out, moaning and drooling all over his face, and most of us were drunk! This was beyond a traffic violation, this is a freaking DUI ala Paris Hilton waiting to happen! I told my cousins to shut up and let me do all the talking (since I was seated at the passenger seat beside the driver, we probably won't get a whiff of my beer breath).

The cop came up to the driver's window and told us that we were speeding, had ran a red light, then drove in the wrong way of a one way street (Thank God he didn't smell booze). I thought the one way rule didn’t apply during those hours. Apparently I was mistaken.

Since all our windows were down (which is probably the reason we didn’t stink of alcohol), he saw my cousin at the back seat, who was moaning and clutching his stomach because it was sore from throwing up so much, but it his faced expression seemed like he had more to give. The officer asked us what was wrong with him. That was when I saw my chance to exact my concocted excuse...

ME: Sir, pasensya na po, nagmamadali lang po kami kasi dadalhin po namin pinsan ko sa hospital kasi nagsusuka po at nagkukumbolsyon!

COP: Ano bang meron sya? Mukha namang ok ha.

ME: Sir, hindi po okay yan! Kanina pa po siya nagsusuka. Tumigil na po ng konti pero hindi namin alam ang nangyayari sa kanya.

COP: Eh bakit kayo dumaan dito? Mali ang dinaanan nyo. One way ito! Humaharurot pa kayo! Kung di ko pa kayo pinatigil, baka naaksidente pa kayo!

ME: Sir, sorry po talaga! Hindi po namin sinasadya, nagmamadali lang po talaga kami kasi kailangan namin siya dalhin sa hospital! Hindi na po mauulit, emergency lang po! Sige na po, paunahin niyo na kami. Baka po kung ano pa mangyari sakanya kung di kami makarating dun kagad!

COP: (thinks for a second) Hay nako... Sige, sige. Dahan dahan lang sa pagmamaneho! Sige na!

And that's how you get your way out of a traffic violation and possibly a best actor award. Hehe!

My cousins were laughing their asses off when we took a turn down the street. One of them even had to prevent herself from burping! We couldn’t believe we got away with it! We were so pumped up that we were actually thinking of going back and commit the same violations but this time tell him we’re lost and ask him to perform CPR on my cousin quickly because his unconscious! Hahaha!

And what makes it even funnier is that my semi-passed out pinsan didn’t have a clue of what’s going on! So what did I learn from this experience?

Always keep a passed out relative handy…Just in case…