Shelling out the LOVE

I can’t get any love nowadays. Everybody keeps ordering me around, “Jigs do this,” Jigs do that,” “Jigs die and burn in hell,” everyone’s such a downer! So I’ve decided to proliferate some lurve for everyone and hope it gets multiplied (back to me hopefully).

A HUUUUGE Thank You to three great graphic designers for helping me Pro Bono with my Advertising Project. To JAMES, BIM and KEVIN, I still don’t know how you guys do it, but you do it hella well!

A BIIIIIG Congratulations to my best bud REX for writing 200 sensible and note worthy posts! Well Done! You are twice the blogger I will ever be and I mean that whole-heartedly. Thank you for introducing me to this world!

A MAAAASSIVE good luck to all the bloggers I nominated in the truly wicked and endlessly controversial EVIL BLOG AWARDS!

JUICE, stop complaining about the fact I nominated you, I know you like it! Hahaha! I really do hope you win! So start shaking that yummeh booty!

REX, your controversial post was exceptional but you definitely have some stiff competition. SKYE wrote one tirade of a post. Good luck to both of you!

POLI, I was the one who nominated you! Mwahaha! And isn’t it ironic, we’re competing under the same category! Let us see who is deemed more Machiavellian! Hahaha!

TALAMASCA, ever the controversial writer! Congrats for your nominations in two categories (we’re also competitors)! Finally some recognition eh?!

This pseudo-awards thingy (which by the way is getting more serious by the day) was the brain fart of the most sinister of us all, the philosophical, the bastard, the GREEEEAT PAOLO!

Still on the Evil Blog Awards, I nominated a blogger who unfortunately didn’t make the cut, but I believe deserves to be noted and recognized. SLIM WHALE is truly an excellent writer with a VAAAAST array of metaphors and wide vocabulary under his belt.

Also, I have a couple of choice words for the JOYFUL CHICKEN and his GRAAAAND MAFIA…I will never let you have…my precious…You will have to pry it from my cold and sweaty hands before you can even have a whiff of it! The soft served ice cream is mine! Mine I tell you!

And finally, I want to greet the Goddess of Chocolates, my dearest sister, an ENOOOORMOUS congratulations! She just passed the nursing examinations! She is now officially a nurse!

She didn't have a good photo of her in a nurse's outfit so I just used her grad pic. ;)

I've given out all the love I could give at the moment.

As the song goes, All you need is LOVE... Then here you have it...Pass it on!

Invoking Malu Fernandez

I have never been to Divisoria. I hate everything about the place. I hate huge crowds, I hate the scorching sun and I hate the putrid stench of the trash infested streets, but I decided to give the place a chance because my marketing group needed to buy raw materials in bulk for our marketing bazaar and my team insisted on saving money. I, on the other hand, didn’t get their logic for “saving money”. Who knew this slight disagreement would set the mood in a magnified way.

We decided to meet at 7 am in the morning. I had a vehicle prepared already for us, a brand new Honda Pilot. It’s not the best, but will do for this sort of trip. Unfortunately, no one bothered to check the freaking plate number. “Color Coding yung honda mo!” A friend blurted out. There was a second option, it was an Isuzu, and it made me squirm. It reeked of old fabric and moldy plastic. I had to empty out a bottle of Bvlgari Blu. Thank God I had a spare bottle with me.

I had to prepare a lot of stuff for this “undertaking.” I bought with me a big bottle of alcohol, face towel, extra shirt, sunglasses, handkerchiefs, ipod, and Valium. After a whole hour of preparing (on my part), we were ready to go. It was a long trip, and thanks to the portable DVD player I brought along with me, it was not that boring.

When we finally got to Divisoria, we could not get a parking spot and traffic was horrible. It was because of all the people crossing everywhere and the different modes of transportation. There were Jeepneys with drivers who would endlessly honk for invisible passengers, the tricycles that would transport items bigger than themselves, the taxicab that was a rusting oasis in the heat, and of course the pedicabs, that can be seen everywhere but only a handful use them. We decided to step out of our car and just let the driver look for a parking spot. The moment I took one step out of the cool but barely comfortable car, I wanted to get back in. I was simultaneously struck by the shocking sight, smell and sound of the space.

“Handa ka na bang maglakad?” my teammate asked

“La-Lakad?” I stammered. “Baka gusto mong maglakad pauwi ng Pampanga?!”

The sun bore down on me like it had a grudge. I reluctantly strode with the group, and showed that unwillingness by taking my sweet time. Everywhere, people were shouting and clapping. “Dito ang pinakamura!”, “Pili napo kayo!”, “ano po ang sa inyo?!”(I doubt it ever persuaded anyone). After 3 hours of non-stop walking and buying stuff later, my hush puppies were no longer quiet, they were barking mad. And things weren’t about to get any better. In just a few minutes, dark clouds loomed above our heads, and before you could say “F#ck Divisoria!” it started to pour. An umbrella was no where in sight (that was the one thing I didn’t bring!). In the vast vicinity of the war-torn land called Divisoria, we were stuck in the section where no one was selling umbrellas.

So we were stuck by the sidewalk along with other sweating stranded citizens without any signs of the rainstorm stopping anytime soon. A can of sardines had more elbow room than we did, and everyone’s smell was creating a whole new fierce odor. There was this lady (with thick make-up and bad hair) who kept spraying herself with an imitation perfume that made the pungency even worse. There’s nothing worse than the smell of sweat, rain, street puddle and cheap perfume.

After 45 minutes, the rain subsided, and I decided to quit and head for the car (the lesser evil). I didn’t care if my teammates wanted to keep going and battle their way through the traffic and the people. After an extra 30 minutes of waiting, my teammates finally arrived and we finally went home. We were all knocked out cold during the trip home because of exhaustion. Before completely going home, I dropped off my teammates and passed by a mall to buy some stuff to nurse my physical and mental aches (Starbucks, DVDs and Teriyaki Boy).

This was one of the more painful experiences in my life which I will definitely tuck away and never ponder on again. Just a few more hours of relaxation and I’ll feel better…

NOTE: This is a parody on Malu Fernandez’s article (mine is not as "priceless" as hers). This is only 40% factual.

Drinking and Driving

This is so far the best and most unique excuse I have ever made up to get out of a ticket.

However, I wasn't the one driving.

My cousins (4 of them) and I were out for a night of drinking and partying. We decided to head home at around 3 AM because one of my cousins was already spewing his guts out in the bathroom.

Of course most of us were beyond tipsy but the designated driver was sober, enough (we permitted him to have a few drinks because he wouldn’t shut up about not wanting to be the designated driver), to drive and be alert. However, I was wrong. The next thing we knew, we were being pulled over by a traffic enforcer/policeman (I can't believe he was vigilant enough to enforce traffic rules during 3 AM!).

We were all freaking out. One of us was semi-passed out, moaning and drooling all over his face, and most of us were drunk! This was beyond a traffic violation, this is a freaking DUI ala Paris Hilton waiting to happen! I told my cousins to shut up and let me do all the talking (since I was seated at the passenger seat beside the driver, we probably won't get a whiff of my beer breath).

The cop came up to the driver's window and told us that we were speeding, had ran a red light, then drove in the wrong way of a one way street (Thank God he didn't smell booze). I thought the one way rule didn’t apply during those hours. Apparently I was mistaken.

Since all our windows were down (which is probably the reason we didn’t stink of alcohol), he saw my cousin at the back seat, who was moaning and clutching his stomach because it was sore from throwing up so much, but it his faced expression seemed like he had more to give. The officer asked us what was wrong with him. That was when I saw my chance to exact my concocted excuse...

ME: Sir, pasensya na po, nagmamadali lang po kami kasi dadalhin po namin pinsan ko sa hospital kasi nagsusuka po at nagkukumbolsyon!

COP: Ano bang meron sya? Mukha namang ok ha.

ME: Sir, hindi po okay yan! Kanina pa po siya nagsusuka. Tumigil na po ng konti pero hindi namin alam ang nangyayari sa kanya.

COP: Eh bakit kayo dumaan dito? Mali ang dinaanan nyo. One way ito! Humaharurot pa kayo! Kung di ko pa kayo pinatigil, baka naaksidente pa kayo!

ME: Sir, sorry po talaga! Hindi po namin sinasadya, nagmamadali lang po talaga kami kasi kailangan namin siya dalhin sa hospital! Hindi na po mauulit, emergency lang po! Sige na po, paunahin niyo na kami. Baka po kung ano pa mangyari sakanya kung di kami makarating dun kagad!

COP: (thinks for a second) Hay nako... Sige, sige. Dahan dahan lang sa pagmamaneho! Sige na!

And that's how you get your way out of a traffic violation and possibly a best actor award. Hehe!

My cousins were laughing their asses off when we took a turn down the street. One of them even had to prevent herself from burping! We couldn’t believe we got away with it! We were so pumped up that we were actually thinking of going back and commit the same violations but this time tell him we’re lost and ask him to perform CPR on my cousin quickly because his unconscious! Hahaha!

And what makes it even funnier is that my semi-passed out pinsan didn’t have a clue of what’s going on! So what did I learn from this experience?

Always keep a passed out relative handy…Just in case…

Death By Chocolate!

Balikbayan Boxes!

Yes, my room is filled with that “state side” smell. Lovely. I did mention once HERE that I like that smell. In this family, a balikbayan box can also be called the box of surprises. A box can contain anything from a brand new audio stereo system, to flower shaped stickers with a rubber surface used in bathtubs to prevent children and elders from slipping. My mom basically sends us anything they have no use for over there. Now, I love mom with my whole heart and I’m not one to complain, but sometimes, I can’t help feeling like we’re a virtual salvation army, or worse, a dumpsite for their unwanted. Don’t get me wrong though, we have yet to get a box where we didn’t like anything inside. There are just those stray items which we find no apparent use for and are reluctant to give it to anyone else. I mean, what am I supposed to do with a small plastic blinking bicycle tail light when I have never owned a bike in my life?! Maybe they’d come in handy during brownouts! Haha! Probably not…

Anyway, the reason for this post is to tell you about one of my lovely sisters. Her name is Dyan and she’s two years younger than me (making her the third eldest). The reason for me telling you about her is because in the 4 balikbayan boxes we got this week, two were almost filled with…CHOCOLATES! Dyan is an absolute chocolate addict. From Ferrero Rocher, Snickers, Curly Tops, down to the humble Chocnut, she’ll basically devour anything brown! Wait…That didn’t come out right…

Step aside King of Chocolates, here comes the Goddess of Chocolates!

Be it white, milk, mint or dark, this chocolate girl has devoured it. And as luck would have it, the powers that be have provided her with as much chocolate she could sink her teeth in. Most of the chocolate sent to her were her favorites: Crunch, Kisses, M&Ms, Reese’s and her most coveted Ferrero Rocher. The moment I opened the box and she saw the abundance of chocolate, I swear you can hear her shriek from a mile away. It was as if she saw a couple of long lost loved ones, and their names were Hershey, Nestle, Reese and Mr. Ferrero. If she doesn’t watch her consumption of this sweet treat, the next time I post about her, she won’t have legs to stand on! Haha! Okay, bad joke, really mean…Whatever…

CHOCOLATE TRIVIA:

Chocolate originates from a Nahuatl word meaning "bitter water."

The Swiss lead the world in Chocolate consumption per capita.

Mozart made reference to chocolate in his opera, Cosi fan tutte.

Dark chocolate contains substantial amounts of flavonoid phenolics which may lower the risk of heart disease.

Pure chocolate contains anti-oxidants which aid better skin complexion, which negates the belief that it causes acne. The milk content in chocolate bars is the one that cause acne.

Chocolate (cocoa) prevents Diarrhea and treats persistent coughing by soothing and moistening the throat.

The average person will consume 10,000 chocolate bars in a lifetime.

Theobroma Cacao (used to make chocolate) roughly translates to..... "FOOD FOR THE GODS."

A Horrific Downpour

It’s finally raining. It has poured non-stop over our roof since last night. It came late, but finally the rainy season has come. I was afraid we're going to experience a full blown drought. Maybe all my concerns were fueled by the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, which I bet most of you, had already heard of. It’s about the adverse effects our excessive waste and over consumption of natural resources are doing to the Earth. These effects are also known as Global Warming. According to Al Gore (presenter in the film) we only have less than ten years in order to change the imminent outcome of our excessive and wasteful ways. Signs are everywhere: drought, floods, heat waves (like what we are experiencing) and the cracking of the great glaciers. If we do not change, our children, and their children will suffer for our mistakes…

It scared the crap out of me! I knew we had to conserve, to save energy and keep our environment clean and green. But I didn’t think we were this far gone. It’s really terrifying to think that we have done this to the one place we ALL call home. Preachy isn’t it? I thought so too. It seems false, exaggerated and straight out of an apocalyptic science fiction movie. Unfortunately, it was factual, undeniable, and forthcoming. We, at home try our best to help stop contributing to the problem. We’ve been using compact fluorescent light bulbs, keeping our air conditioning filters clean, using less energy and recycling. I just hope everyone changes their habits before it’s too late.

Too serious? I know it is… I just had to get it out there.

Anyway, on to my brand of scariness! Which is blood-splattering, gut disemboweling, and limb chopping gore extravaganzas!!! (that sentence was so good, it needed two more exclamation points!). Horror was the name, movie marathon was the game. With a big tumbler overflowing with soda, a huge bowl of popcorn, a bag of Ruffles, a remote control (to replay any porn-like or extreme gore scene!), and a huge pillow (to cover my eyes if I get too scared…as if!) at hand, I was ready to strain my eyes with all the fright it can handle. Ladies and gents, here’s the list of my Terror Torrent Trip: The Hills Have Eyes 2 (the first one was better), Hostel Part: 2 (Gore fest! Awesome!), Turistas (sucked!), The Descent (excellent!), Disturbia (so real, it’s scary!), Vacancy (well done!), The Reaping (what a waste!), Them (skillfully scary!) and Severance (funny and horrifying!). More than FIFTEEN hours of non-stop fright! I love it! It’s one of the best things I could have done during this very rainy day, when most of us do nothing but sleep.

If you know of any horror flick I have yet to watch but should watch, tell me or better yet, challenge me not to finish it! I have yet to watch a horror film and not be able to finish it. Mwahahaha!

On to other news, one of my favorite directors of all time is actually in the Philippines! Quentin Tarantino, director of Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Hostel, Kill Bill and Grindhouse, is here to receive a lifetime achievement award from the 9^th Cinemanila International Film Festival. He has been an ardent supporter of independent filmmakers and Asian cinema. There will also be a showing of all of his movies. I hope it will be open to the public, because if it is, I will definitely not miss that chance!

Anyway, I’ve put up another review in my blog, inFLICKted. It’s about the movie Sunshine, a good Sci-Fi thriller without lightsabers and aliens. Please try to visit and link me up too! I’ll transfer my reviews of Harry Potter 5 and Transformers there soon.

Erratic Excursions

Let me start by saying, RATS! I didn’t win 100 bucks! Haha! Anyway, a big congratulations to the top ten emerging and influential blogs of 2007! May you guys prosper and continue to be as influential as ever. As for those who weren’t fortunate enough to influence others or didn't influence enough, there’s still 2008 so I suggest creating a new blog after August and start influencing people’s lives! Same holds true to the current top ten! Weeeee!

Forgive my bluntness, I find myself lacking of an artistic approach to the whole thing. Soooo, new topic! Exposure trips are common events when you are in Business Management. An excursion would usually consist of three company tours and visits, a little sight seeing, and a quick stop to a mall right before going home. The first excursion trip I was a part of was for my Financial Management subject. It was good enough for my first time. A visit to the Stock Market, a conference with an apparent “big time” stock broker and a tour of the Philippine National Bank was the main agenda of the day. But my classmates had other plans. We spent a good 5 hours roaming Mall of Asia. My feet were killing me after the whole ordeal. Even sadder, was the reality that I didn’t really learn anything or take home with me, other than a few fake rejected bills from PNB (yeah, we manage to get some, haha!), and a Pizza Hut doggie bag from the unfinished meatlovers my friends and I had for dinner in MOA.

Just last Wednesday, we had another exposure trip. This would be my fifth time to go on a “business” trip for students. This time went to 2 Production Factories of Nestle’ (one in Quezon City and the other near Rockwell) and to Pilipinas Hino which makes, assembles and distributes buses and trucks in the Philippines.

Nestle’ was as expected neat and very strict about their policies: No sleeveless shirts/blouses, no open toe footwear, no picture taking, keep quiet and maintain two lines. I knew they would have lots of restrictions. We were used to it since most of us have been through several factory tours. Despite the restrictions, the lady giving us the tour was very entertaining and witty. She could totally keep up with more than 240 rowdy students (separated in two batches). Unfortunately, our factory tour was not as expected. They were experiencing technical difficulties and had to stop production completely, so we basically didn’t get to see their products (ice cream, yogurt, and other chilled items) get made. So much for that experience! At least we got free ice cream! Haha!

Next stop was Pilipinas Hino, where they made buses and trucks. They actually made the buses we were using during our trips. The factory tour would have been very interesting if it wasn’t for the overwhelming stench of burnt steel, paint and thinner. For the whole experience, we all had handkerchiefs over our faces. The assembly line was very ordered but nonetheless chaotic and noisy. Thank goodness it only lasted for 15 minutes! What was interesting though was the different customers they had and how customized the designs can get. I couldn’t take any pictures so I can’t show them to you. It was very entertaining though to see only one company making buses for different universities like UST, Ateneo and CEU. Each bus was so cool looking and expertly designed.

As a finale, our teachers decided to pass by Tagaytay to get some sight seeing and shopping done. On our way to there, it started to pour. Yes, it was raining, and mist started to cover Taal Lake and the volcano. When we got there, the sprinkle subsided. We got to take some pictures and shopped as many pasalubong as our poor hands and arms could carry! I bought a whole bunch of yummy specialties! Choco Flakes, Sweet Pineapples, realy small bananas, Cassave Cake, Espasol (to name a few) and of course, my all time favorite, BUKO PIE! I had several plastic bags filled with yummy delicacies. Add to that four boxes of buko pie and two boxes of cassava cake! Never mind the fact that we have no idea on how to carry everything home! Haha! That's not all for me you know! I'm gonna give it to different people as pasalubong for them! Going back to Manila, we had one final stop, TriNoMa. It was huge and elegant, but far from complete. I wasn’t impressed at all, maybe because most of us were spent and just wanted to go home. We went around and saw what the mall had to offer. But for now, I shall reserve my full interest until the time the mall is finally finished.

It was a long day, and I know you guys wouldn’t probably read this whole post (maybe because it can be considered as a “what I did today” or narrative type of post), but I know most of you will read this last paragraph. As much as you plan every detail of an outing, an expedition or a trip, everything can fall apart even before you can say “Tara lets!” What salvages the voyage however, are the people along for the ride. Their overall demeanor and attitude towards the expected and unexpected makes the experience memorable.